She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
