Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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