So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself