oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice