just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
