"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
