If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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