Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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