I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
