i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
