I didn't shave. On purpose
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
