she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
