I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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