Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
