I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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