Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
