saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
