Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
