Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
