i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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