so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
