ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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