Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
