i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize