I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
