i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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