this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
