we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
