They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize