so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
