My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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