I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
try to milk me bitch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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