The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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