if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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