i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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