nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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