Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
