It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
