he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize