He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
