i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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