my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
