My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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