so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
