would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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