If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You dont lie about slip and slides
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
