do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
