you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
