hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
