I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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