I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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