So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
