Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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