I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
