Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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