Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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