Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
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my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
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random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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