Jerry, you need to find god
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
