Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
