Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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