making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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