He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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