Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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