I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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